Blogging, Body Positivity, and a Life Update

I debated for a long while about writing this post. Body positivity is both a touchy and a trendy subject, and I didn't want to throw my two cents in prematurely or in a way that felt forced or cheap. What I do know though, is that I saw and still see plenty of body positivity posts from successful bloggers who are frankly, quite thin. And I think that as a teenager seeing similar posts from people of all sizes would have really been beneficial.

In all honesty, one of my biggest concerns when expanding my blog into style was my size. While the fashion industry is changing and there are plenty of plus-size bloggers and instagrammers out there for me to look up to and admire, there still (at least from my perspective) seems to be a bit of a barrier when it comes to bigger girls and success in this field. I was fully prepared to receive nasty comments - I've seen so many others be on the receiving end of them that it seemed inevitable. I feel lucky I've yet to have to deal with any of that (which is truly terrible, I can hardly believe what people think is okay to say over the internet), but it is still always on my mind. I want to see my blog grow and I am hopeful my body type would never be a limiting factor, but I just don't know and that can be a bit scary.

Full disclosure - in the last seven years I've been every size from a 4 to a 14, which is a pretty wide range. I'm currently around a 10, and I'm perfectly happy with that. I'm happy to be at my size and feel comfortable showing what I love to wear and what suits my body - particularly after years of trying to wear the kinds of outfits I saw on typical fashion girls whose body types were nowhere near mine. It feels liberating to stand in front of a camera and feel confident in the way I look, and to know how much hard work on a mental and emotional level has led to this point. I am grateful for where I am today and I am grateful for the outlet blogging has given me. I am also so grateful for the body positivity movement, because it is hard, really terribly hard for so many people to feel comfortable in their skin, but it's a feeling we all deserve.

I'm rambling, I know, but what's brought this on is a recent decision to pursue breast reduction surgery. It's a weird thing to be comfortable in my skin at last and yet to want such a big change. It's something that I've grappled with for years because I thought that wanting such a change meant I didn't like my body after all, but that just isn't true. When I go in for surgery in April, it will be purely for the sake of my quality of life. My frame is much too small to support so much weight on my chest, which means pretty severe pain in my shoulders and back when I stand/walk/drive for more than 30 minutes, and muscles so tense that my arms go numb and the blood flow to my brain is restricted (hello crippling migraines!). The point is, yes, I am happy with where I'm at, but I also recognize the need to take this step for the sake of my health and happiness.

If you've read this far, you might be wondering why I felt the need to put all of this out there. Now that pictures of me are out on the internet so often, there's no way my followers won't notice the drastic change come Spring. It feels right, for me at least, to be honest with my regular readers. Yes, this is a very personal thing, but such a big visual change to my body will be a public thing. And if sharing my experience with body positivity, trying to be at my healthiest pre-surgery, and going through such a big change helps someone else like me, well, that's just a happy bonus.

Last note, I promise! If you've thought about getting into blogging but are unsure at all because of the way you look, I encourage you to take a leap of faith. It can be so fulfilling and so confidence-boosting to put yourself out there. Keep on doing you and being you, and I'm always here for anyone looking for advice/support/etc.

♡ Briana